Table of contents

Summary

• After a series of breakups & long term relationships (where she’s always the one being dumped), Marnie is swearing off love. She moves into a new apartment with Claud (who soon becomes her bestie) & continues working at the coffee shop that she loves. She feels like she should have life figured out more, and should want more from her career, but she just doesn’t. She keeps changing herself to match those she meets, and she’s frustrated at herself. Then, she meets Isaac — charming, sweet, funny Isaac that also currently has a girlfriend. They become “friends” — always talking on the phone, sharing intimate conversations, meeting up — but not crossing that “line” (although they definitely do?) Eventually, they have sex and she immediately feels guilty. He eventually meets up with her and wants to get together but she stands strong and says no. She realizes that she was still trying to make herself into someone else for him, despite trying to convince herself she wasn’t. She also ends up taking on a bigger role at work (she starts hosting events), becoming closer friends with Kit her boss, and also forming a friendship with Sam (the cook who constantly hit on her, but apologized and they became closer). The book ends with her getting her own apartment, adopting a dog, and realizing that her love for Claud & her sister & her life is enough.

Review

• This book has: a 28 year old witty main character that is on the struggle bus but is ultimately likable, female friendship soulmates, a complicated romance, a self-discovery/self-love plot line… basically, it was right up my alley. Marnie is such a frustrating main character in that she makes bad decisions that are so incredibly relatable. I really loved how the romance in this book turned out — do not go into this expecting a typical romcom. It’s definitely a character driven, “coming-of-age” in your 20s story, which really works for me. I was bothered by the constant Covid references (it just felt unnecessary), and, yes, the ending was a bit tidy and wrapped up quickly, but the amount of quotes I underlined, and how much I enjoyed the story made up for it.

Key takeaways

• Loneliness makes us do crazy things. She was SO SCARED of being alone, that she didn’t allow herself time to really get to know herself and what she wanted. Quote: “The only way to beat the loneliness out of your bones was to connect with people and make peace with your alone time.”
• Marnie was often able to recognize toxic habits in others (how her sister let her husband get away with weaponized incompetence, how Claud kept going back to an emotionally abusive relationship — but never within herself. How she kept attaching herself to Isaac despite it not being good for her, how she tried to use sex to fix her problems (with Sam), how she didn’t like that she always changed herself. When Nicola said “stop saying “people” when you really mean “you” — I felt that.
• I love that she didn’t end up with anyone romantically. It really showed her character growth. And you KNOW I’m a sucker for platonic soul mates. Her and Claud both grew a lot, & although the ending felt a bit tidy, I still really loved it.

Quotes

Getting over someone is not that difficult. All you have to do is focus on every negative thing about them for the rest of your life until you forget to stop actively hoping for their slow and painful death, then get a haircut.

I’d spent so much time trying to fit into someone’s life that I had forgotten to ask how they would fit into mine.

‘We all plagiarise our personalities a little bit.’

Don’t you hate that saying, that the sexiest thing you can be is confident? How was I supposed to be confident if I didn’t feel sexy? How was I supposed to feel sexy unless I was confident that I already was?